Let's Talk About You And Me
by chalantness
Summary: "I know we're adults here, but I don't need any more details than I already have when it comes to your sex life."


**Title:** _Let's Talk About You And Me  
_**Rating:** PG-13  
**Word Count:** ~1,900  
**Characters:** Steve/Natasha and the rest of the ensemble  
**Prompt:** a tumblr post (check my AO3 version of this for the link)  
**Summary:** "I know we're adults here, but I don't need any more details than I already have when it comes to your sex life."

**A/N:** Mostly crack, because… my mind goes to really weird places sometimes.

**Let's Talk About You And Me**

It's been a while since she, Maria and Pepper have just _hung out_, which is a little crazy if you consider that they all live in the same building. They see each other all the time, like in passing and when everyone gets together on the communal floor at odd hours of the day, and usually they try to have breakfast or dinner altogether at least every other week. So the three of them spend a fair amount of time together despite the fact that their schedules hardly ever seem to line up properly, but they haven't had time as just girls in a while.

So they spend the day shopping, and while, separately, they don't care much for it, it's different when they go together.

It's fairly warm today and the district they go to is a collection of stores along a strip rather than enclosed in a building like most malls, so she ties her hair back and wears the navy blue and white sundress Sharon bought her for her birthday last year with strappy sandals.

Steve called her beautiful before she left and she _blushed_, just a little bit. You'd think that with how often he compliments her, she'd be used to it by now, but she's really not.

He always says them in this soft voice and gets this _look_ in his eyes, like he's seeing her for the first time, and honestly, what girl wouldn't adore that? Especially one like her, that's had men treat her inappropriately (to put it lightly) for more than half her life. Actually, she's almost positive that's _why_ he makes it a point to compliment her all the time.

As if he wasn't enough of a gentleman to begin with.

"What about this one?"

Pepper steps out of the fitting room in a champagne cocktail dress, fingers tugging at the hem. It's strapless and shimmery and like something out of the 1920s, and of course she looks gorgeous in it. She has in every dress she's tried on, so Natasha isn't really sure what's taking so long to find dresses to wear for the benefit that a partner of Stark Industries is hosting next week, but whatever. She's not complaining. They don't go shopping every day and when they do, they hardly ever have the luxury of taking their time, so this is nice.

"Tony's going to love that on the floor next to your fireplace," Natasha says, quirking an eyebrow.

"Please," Pepper laughs, turning to look at her reflection in the mirrors. "With this price tag, he's not allowed to put a finger on this dress. He generally doesn't handle my clothes with any care while I'm still in them."

Maria makes a face. "I know we're adults here, but I don't need any more details than I already have when it comes to yours and Tony's sex life."

"You're right, but I _do _want to talk about Natasha's."

"What?" Natasha laughs.

Pepper smiles and tilts her head. "Nat, even if we didn't live in the same building, we still would've found out that you and Steve finally started sleeping together. And I mean in the explicit way, though the fact that you two started with actually sleeping _next to_ each other is still totally adorable."

"Yeah, don't think we couldn't see it all over your face," Maria chimes in, poking Natasha's arm. "You did a horrible job at hiding it."

"Maybe I wasn't trying to hide anything," Natasha points out.

Pepper very nearly squeals, which is a bigger deal than you'd think considering she hardly _ever _squeals. "So why didn't you tell us when it first happened?" she questions, raising her eyebrows and putting her hands on her hips. Then a thought crosses her and she almost pouts. (_God_, she must be picking that up from Tony.) "Did you tell Clint before us?"

"_No_," Natasha scoffs. "I mean, I love him, and if he doesn't bring it up first, I'll talk to him about it soon enough. But he's not the first person I run to about something like this."

"He better not be," Pepper says teasingly, walking over to join her and Maria on the couch.

"I didn't realize things were getting that serious between you two," Maria admits. "I mean, I _did_, obviously, but…"

She doesn't finish, but Natasha understands what the girl is getting at. Of course they're serious and always have been, even before they sort of officially became anything. He asked her to move in with him after barely three months of dating, and while it was technically just her moving from hers and Maria's floor in the Stark Tower to his, it meant a lot more and they both understood that. She knew that Steve asking her to move in even though she wasn't his wife meant that he thought that what they had was just as serious as marriage, if not more, and maybe even that he planned on asking for her hand someday. Regardless, she'd said yes, and he knew what that said about her thoughts of them and their future.

So, the two of them having sex is…

It's kind of a big step, but at the same time, it really isn't.

"So when was your first time?" Pepper asks. "_How_ was your first time? We don't need juicy details, but just… tell us about it."

"It'll have been exactly a week and a half from tomorrow." Smiling, Natasha adds, "And the fact that he was a virgin was largely overshadowed by the fact that he takes directions amazingly well, and he's a quick learner. His enhanced stamina is also does wonders for him, too."

"I'll bet he'll be the only guy that tires you out before you tire him," Maria says.

"Yeah, why am I not surprised that it takes a super soldier to meet your match?" Pepper asks, sounding thoroughly amused.

Natasha smiles a little wider, shrugging a shoulder.

"I'm guessing his number one concern was making sure it was really good for you even before it got that far," Maria adds almost as an afterthought. "And I mean, considering you've told us you two have gone down on each other before and he was excellent at that, he probably didn't disappoint."

"Not at all, honey," Natasha promises. "But I hope you know digging up all these details makes it sound like you want to find out for yourself."

She's teasing, of course, and the three of them laugh because they know it. But still, Maria holds her hands up in a gesture of surrender and says, "You're right. Let's find our dresses and get the hell out of here."

"You just want to get home so you can embarrass Steve," Pepper says knowingly.

"Of course," Maria replies, and Natasha just smiles and shakes her head.

And call it intuition or just her friends being _so_ easy for her to read, but she can tell as she's stepping into Tony and Pepper's kitchen two hours later that something is up. Steve is smiling as soon as he sees her, which is nothing new, but there's something almost… almost _apologetic _about his smile, like he's guilty about something, and she can feel the rest of the guys watching her, too. Tony always kind of looks smug, but even Bruce seems totally amused by something and both Sam and Clint have these half-smirks on their faces.

Then Steve kisses her, as per his usual greeting, and says, "I'm so sorry," and she's a little (a lot) more confused.

"Okay, what's with the looks?" Pepper asks for her, arching an eyebrow and then pointing at Tony. "And why are you smiling like that? What did you do this time?"

"Just so you know, this was a combined effort," Tony tells her.

"No, no, _I_ told them I didn't want any part in it. This was… This was all them," Bruce corrects, gesturing at Tony, Sam and Clint. "And, well," he adds, pointing at Steve, "you'll see in a minute that _he_ didn't have anything to do with it, either. So don't include us in the blame for this."

"What is he talking about?" Maria questions.

"Well," Tony begins, pulling a white box out of the fridge and setting it on the kitchen island. "I—_we_ have a surprise for… well, it's for Steve _and _Natasha, but he already knows about it so it's not a surprise for him. But we have something to celebrate and so we were wondering if we might start dinner with dessert tonight, because we have a lovely cake and—"

"_Tony_," Natasha prompts.

He unties the string around the box and pulls back the lid.

"Oh, god," Pepper exhales, and Maria _laughs_.

Written in the center of the cake in red frosting are the words, _CONGRATS ON THE SEX_.

Congrats… on the _sex_.

Natasha raises her eyebrows and looks at Steve, who looks somewhat mortified but also a little amused, like he actually finds this a little funny but he's not sure if he should. He looks at her and practically blurts out, "I'm sorry! I just… You have every right to be mad. You _should_ be mad."

"Steve," she says, laughing a little as she sets a hand on his cheek. "It's alright. It's not like we were trying to keep it a secret."

"No, I know, but… I told them the cake was a bad idea, but Bruce and I couldn't talk them out of it," Steve admits. "You know how they get sometimes."

"Lighten up, Steve." Sam claps a hand against his shoulder. "We wanted to commemorate this special occasion and what better way than with cake? And it's your favorite, too, Nat—red velvet with cream cheese. Everyone wins."

"How thoughtful," Natasha says sweetly, swiping her finger through the frosting spelling out _SEX_ and sticking her finger in her mouth. Steve's just watching her and her lips tug into a smile. "Here, try some." She dips her finger into the frosting again and holds it up to him, waiting until he slowly takes it between his lips before asking, "Does it taste like me?"

Clint, Tony and Sam cough. Bruce chuckles, rubbing at his temples, and Pepper and Maria are laughing again.

Steve licks her finger clean and she bites her lower lip.

"Yeah, it kind of does," he says after a moment, and she's not sure if he's telling the truth or just playing along, but the boys groan and she knows that was the point, either way.

"You know," she goes on, tugging him closer by his belt, "I forgot to tell you this before, but you're incredibly sexy when you—"

"_Stop_, _please_, we get it!" Tony snaps, throwing his arms up in exasperation. She smiles innocently at him and he narrows his eyes, pointing the knife in his hand at her. And she knows he'd never… he'd _never_, but she still loves that this makes Steve pull her a little closer. "No cake for you."

"Whatever you say, sweetheart," Pepper replies instead, taking the knife from his hand and nudging him out of the way with her hip. "Maria, can you—"

"Yeah, Sam and I'll set out the plates and ice-cream," Maria says, patting Sam's cheek a few times before walking passed him. Sam exhales loudly but gets a smile on his face and follows her across the kitchen.

Steve settles into a barstool and pulls Natasha across his lap, kissing her lips.

"You still taste better," he says, and she just winks and swipes her finger through the frosting again.


End file.
